Bill Gates Unveils Windows-19 For 2021


Bill Gates has returned to Microsoft to unveil the newest installment of their operating system, Microsoft Windows-19. In this installment, Windows will return to their old look featuring start-up screens, bland grey taskbars, Internet Explorer, drivers that rarely work, pixelated system fonts and reintroducing the Channel Guide with support from Disney+. Of course the new-old Windows wouldn't be complete without the introduction of new and improved viruses to cripple your system and steal your data. Gates commented they wanted to return us to the "new normal".

Since last year, the entire world has been invested in one way or another with a virus known as Covid-19 which Gates has finally unveiled Covid-19 was an actual plan-demic. According to Gates, Covid-19 was their best marketing campaign since Windows CE-ME-NT. "We used to use TV for ads, but people flipped the channel. Magazines became a thing of the past and statistics show most users are using adblocks. What better way to bring attention to our latest product than to produce Covid-19 and then unveil our cure which is Windows-19?"

Bill Gates (middle) with fellow investors, Deaf Epsteam (left) and Angree Baldhead (right).

However, some users on Twitter are already taking issue with Bill Gates over 2020s pandemic by calling this marketing campaign "irresponsible" and "dangerous". Gates said he knew there would be some controversy but with social media, it would spread like wildfire if big enough through controversy, conspiracy and worry.

"This entire world operates best in a worried state of mind. The focus gravitates towards that worry. If marketing isn't grabbing world wide attention, it's not doing it's job," said Gates eating a popsicle.

Former President Trump said he knew Gates was responsible the whole time. "He's a terrific salesman. Many people have told me, many people have said in private and in public, Bill Gates is a mad man when it comes to sales. When he came to me, I knew this was huge. This was the biggest. I knew it all along." President Biden commented as well stating "Where am I? This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife."

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